You're going to want to read this first!

Let's be honest—you're searching for reasons not to stay in no-contact because, deep down, you didn't want it in the first place.

So, you find yourself scrolling through advice, trying to remind yourself why this is important. Everyone on the internet keeps telling you that no contact is good for you (because it is), but all you really want is a loophole—an excuse—to break it.

You Went No Contact for a Reason

And yet, here you are again—staring at your phone, debating whether to reach out.

You've done this before. You've broken no contact in the past, thinking:

💔 "If we just talk, they'll finally understand."

💔 "I know they love me; I just have to remind them."

💔 "I just need closure."

But here's the reality check: not everyone has the emotional capacity to give you closure.

You tell yourself that it's just basic human decency, that a mature person would provide closure. And you're not wrong. But the fact that they don't is exactly why this relationship didn't work in the first place.

I understand you want them to choose you. You want them to feel the same intensity that you do. But sometimes, the most challenging truth to accept is that they don't—and pushing for a resolution only forces them further away.

The Breakup Is the Closure

It's a painful truth; the breakup is all the closure you need. It was the moment they made their choice.

Here is a friendly reminder to please don't fool yourself into thinking that if they offer you friendship, it's better than nothing. You've been there, done that, and you know where that leads.

If you think this time will be different, let me offer you a reality check on how that friendship will serve you. It's just an obstacle to your healing. You'll compare every future partner to them. You'll hold on to old memories, seeing them through rose-colored glasses. And when things get tough with someone new, you'll wonder, "What if that was the best I could do?"

If you ever find yourself asking that question, it's time to have a come-to-Jesus moment with yourself.

By staying emotionally tethered to someone who isn't fully choosing you, you're blocking yourself from the love you actually deserve. And when someone new does come along, they won't be able to reach you—because part of you is still stuck in the past.

So, Should You Break No Contact?

No. Not today. Not this week. Not ever.

This is your moment, your opportunity to recenter, ground yourself, and learn the lessons this relationship was meant to teach you.

Sidenote: If you find the loophole you are seeking and reach out, I offer this little truth bomb: Just because they respond to your text doesn't mean they want you back. Just because they meet up with you doesn't mean they're ready to commit. Your history makes them comfortable with you, but that doesn't mean they choose you.

You teach people how to treat you by what you tolerate.

Your absence is the best teacher. And the best revenge? A life well-lived.

What's Your Next Move?

Instead of texting them, do this instead: Take inventory by writing down an accurate account of the relationship timeline without demonizing the other person. Taking this moment to reflect is powerful after the breakup because you will start noticing patterns. Some questions to reflect on:

✅ How did the relationship begin?

✅ How fast did things move?

✅ Was there an urgency to lock the other down?

✅ And most importantly—why did it end?

Once you have answered the above, deepen your reflection by doing the following:

✅ Write down what you want in a healthy relationship.

✅ Ask yourself if they ever truly met those standards.

✅ Take all that energy you're about to waste on them—and pour it back into yourself.

All this work helps you see your role in relationships. No, it's not for the faint of heart, but you start to recognize your own attachment patterns, emotional triggers, and the behaviors that led you here.

Healing is a choice. Make one that serves you.

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